Glorious Fruit

So one of the managers came into work today and was like, "What nationality are you?"
I was like "Malaysian, I was born there."
And he was like "So I bet you know what I have in this bag."
And he pulled out something I never expected to see at work in a million years...a huge durian fruit!!
Now, for those of you unfamiliar with Asian fruits, the durian, "The King of Fruits" is a formidable-looking fruit which husk is covered with thorns. It's distinctive and unique odour is said to be able to penetrate the most tightly lidded container, which I found out, to my embarrassment, some years ago while in boarding school. It was durian season, and my Mom, knowing how I loved the fruit, decided in all her wisdom to FedEx me a tightly wrapped tupperware flled with the flesh of the durian. The office which handled student mail actually announced over the dormitory PA system for me to come down and pick up my parcel as it was "stinking up the joint".
Anyway, I'm straying from the story. It turned out that the manager had seen a show on the Travel Channel about a chef who travels around the world sampling all kinds of weird and interesting foods and (this manager) had gotten the idea of getting this durian fruit from a Korean store in the suburbs. Now, the last time I had tasted this fruit was, I don't know, about 15 years ago? So it was a bit of a pleasant surprise. Especially on my birthday. Man...just tasting the durian brings back so many childhood memories!!! Camping out in my grandfather's orchard with the family during durian season to collect fruit from the 100 plus durian trees there. Having durian-eating competitions with my siblings, the delicious desserts my mom used to make with the flesh of the fruit...amazing. The manager really made my day today, and I was touched that he shared this with me on my birthday. (Thanks Troy)
So that's all I wanted to write, I apologize for any typos, grammatical errors and what not, it's like really late and I just wanted to quickly type this. Bye.

Patron Saint of Writers, Please Help...

Oh dear, I have ideas brewing in my head for a potentially good piece of writing, but for some reason I CAN'T seem to get my ass off the couch and start writing it down!!! I'm in such a lazy mood these days, it's unbelievable!! There are loads of excuses I can give, but if I'm honest with myself, it's either I'm not motivated or I no longer have the passion for it. For my sake I hope it's neither.

Watch out Dirty Kitchensss...

Man oh man, I watched "superstar chef" Gordon Ramsey's new show "Kitchen Nightmares" last night and laughed myself silly; that man is a genius!!! What's more entertaining than watching a bunch of idiots get their collective asses chewed out by the foul-mouthed, evil genius chef! He basically goes to a (usually) crappy, deserted, horribly rodent and bug-infested restaurant, chews out the management and staff, throws around a few choice expletives and sets about turning the place around in about sixty minutes. I mean, for mindless television, that's one of the best shows ever. Can't wait for the next season of Hell's Kitchen.

A Tip If You're Dining Out...Part 1?

It amazes me that some people do not know the proper etiquette when dining out. Not that there's a specific rule that you have to follow when you're eating at a restaurant but there's a generally acceptable behavior (ie civilized) that rules us when we do.

I work in a restaurant in Chicago which is located in a famous landmark, therefore the place attracts a lot of tourists. It is, basically, a tourist trap. It's a decent restaurant, not too upscale that it scares away the suburbanites coming into the city for a day of shopping at Niketown and Filene's Basement, but it's not Popeye's either. I'm not going into details but suffice to say they are a California chain famous for their desserts.

My official position in the restaurant is Operations Support Technician which means I do accounting, financial, human resource-related work as well as various secretarial duties. Occasionally though, I will pick up barista shifts to help out or when I need the extra cash. Nothing strenuous or requiring any amount of brain power, I just make espresso drinks behind the bar and serve customers who are smart enough to figure out that they could get the same level of service there, or better sometimes than if they 're seated at an actual table. And this is when I observe human behavior at it's finest (and worst), at least, when it comes to restaurant etiquette.

The place I work at gets really packed, especially during the weekends and in the summer time. The wait for a table can get up to 2-3 hours sometimes, depending on the size of the party, and they don't take reservations. Several reasons: It's always too busy for reservations, and they get the sort of clientele that won't show up even after they've made one. And since it is a family-style, casual place, there are a lot of kids there. A lot. Screaming, crying kids throwing temper tantrums. Kids running arond like it's their house. I'm generally reminded of a Chucky Cheese. I don't mind any of that but for the reason that since the restaurant can be extremely packed, letting you kid run around the place can potentially be dangerous to them. For example, there are food runners delivering food to tables and the food ain't all cold salads and soda pop. The plates are steaming hot!!! Once I almost dropped a cup of hot soup on some kid who was spinning around on the spot (mind you, this is a crowded place) while his parents were busy talking amongst themselves. Keep an eye on your children if you don't want them drenched in hot soup. And for crying out loud, if you sit at the espresso bar (seven seats, spaced apart enough for comfort) while waiting for your table, please do not let your child play with the silverware that's been set there. Those are for diners, they are not playthings. Do not freak out if your child pokes itself in the eye with a fork, he is not supposed to play with said fork. Please smack him and take away the weapon.

If you're sitting at the espresso bar (MY station) and you order something that requires me leaving the espresso bar (for example you order an alcoholic drink from the other bar), please wait for me to come back with your order before disappearing to God-knows-where. It is rude to leave me standing with YOUR drink that YOU haven't paid for. If your table has been called, please have someone in your party pay for you. We at the bar do not follow the practice of transferring checks to your server, mainly because of how busy it usually is, and there can be up to 30 servers on the shift on any given weekend. You order at the bar, you pay at the bar. And when you tip me for making your espresso drink, please do not throw your 25 cent coin at me like I'm a beggar. Gently place it on the counter. And please do not come round into my side of the espresso bar and touch the espresso machine. It is just an espresso machine, it will not transform into a robot.

One of the busiest sections of the restaurant is the outside patio, especially when it's a gorgeous day out. It's fun, you can people watch, and if you're lucky, Steadman (Oprah's bf) will walk by. The patio has this I'm-sitting-outside-Euro-cafe-style feel to it. Whatever. And since you're outside there are bound to be pigeons hopping about, waiting for scraps of food from the patio guests. Please do not, for crying out loud, feed the pigeons!! They are dirty, disease-carrying city pigeons, they are not carrier pigeons or doves. They are basically rats with wings. If you do not know it, I will let you know right now, pigeons carry cryptococosis, an infection caused by the fungus cryptococcus found in pigeon droppings. I know it's cute, "Oooh I'm feeding pigeons, makes me feel like I'm in Europe," but don't, okay? If you drop a crumb on the ground, fifty pigeons will descend on said crumb, not one. Fifty. Do you want fifty pigeons flocking around you while you're eating your Orange Chicken or Chinese Chicken Salad? I don't. Please smack your kid if they feed the pigeons.

I know it's a little intimidating walking into a completely packed restaurant with no clue as to where the front desk is located. Please ask any of the waitstaff any questions you may have. They have been trained to answer in a pleasant fashion, even if you are being rude and impatient. Please do not swear at us, just because you have been informed that your table will be ready in an hour and thirty minutes. You will be seated in the order of which you have arrived at the restaurant (standard wait time/we-don't-take-reservations shpiel). Please do not take it upon yourself to walk up to the front desk and pick up the chits that have been put there for the front desk runners. You do not work there. Do not touch anything that you're not supposed to. You are not a child, you do not need to be reminded of this.

And so, these are only a few concerns that I'm voicing. I don't want to get into the whole tipping is customary thing, or that the tip is normally around 18%. All the things I've said are common sense, and that any adult should realize they are. They are just things that bug the hell out of me. I'm not saying every guest that comes into the restaurant are stupid and don't have any common sense, only a small percentage of them are. But they still bug the shit out of me. Common sense, that's what's for dinner.

Back To School

Show support for your local street artists!!! Come out and have fun!!!

Promoting an Art Show here...

Some stuff on view...




Show support for your local artists!!

Summer Is Flying By...

...and we haven't gotten around to doing what we planned on doing. So many things.. so I thought I'd put them on a list lest I forget what they are.

Our plan this summer was to do the touristy things. I mean, we've lived in Chicago almost 6 years now, and we've only done a handful of touristy things. We've gone to the Field Museum (only like last year) and the Shedd Aquarium (excellent, must go again), we've ridden on the trolley all over the city, but we have not, believe it or not, gone up the Sears Tower or the John Hancock Tower (even though I work there)...yeah, I know. And it only costs like $10.

So, I'm thinking we're probably doing:




Lincoln Park Zoo..I have not been to a zoo in ages and generally I really don't like them, all those animals pacing in their cages, and I always imagine that they look sad (or bored).






The Adler Planetarium: I hear it's excellent. And you can't beat the location, right next to the lake. It's beautiful.






The Museum of Contemporary Art: There's a new showing that I want to see there, before it ends.






The Art Institute of Chicago: To visit The Thorne Rooms (or the miniature rooms, as I call it). THe new addition to the Art Institute (for contemporary art) will be a great success, I think.






Picnic on the beach: We've TWO picnic baskets which we've never used, I'd love to have a picnic before the summer ends.







The Observatories of the John Hancock Center and Sears Tower: You can see all the way to Michigan, I hear.







Take the architectural boat ride on Lake Michigan: And learn about the famous Chicago buildings!! As long as we don't pass under a bridge while a tour bus dumps their waste in the river :) Disgraceful.

Love Song - Tesla

Found this on YouTube..a special song for Jay and I.

What I'm reading this summer

In this parallel world, England and Imperial Russia have fought the Crimean War for more than a century; England itself is a police state run by the Goliath Corporation (a powerful weapon-producing company with questionable morals); Wales is a separate, socialist nation; and literary questions (especially the question of Shakespearean authorship) are debated in the streets and are the subject of gang wars and murder. Single, thirty-something, Crimean War veteran and literary detective Thursday Next lives in London with her pet dodo, Pickwick. As the story begins, Thursday is called upon to investigate the theft of the original manuscript of Martin Chuzzlewit by Charles Dickens.

As part of the investigation, Thursday is temporarily promoted to SpecOps-5 to help them apprehend their suspect, the third most wanted criminal in the world, Acheron Hades. Because he was one of her professors at university she is one of the few people that actually knows what he looks like. Using her prior knowledge of Hades she comes close to capturing him, but is badly injured in the attempt, and is saved only by a copy of Jane Eyre in her pocket that stops a bullet. Due to a strange blurring of the line between reality and fiction, Edward Rochester supports her until the paramedics arrive, leaving an embroidered handkerchief and jacket behind. This is not Next's first encounter with someone from within the novel: when she was a child she entered the book herself. During this strange flashback, she met the romantic lead of the novel, Rochester, just before he meets Jane. Thursday's appearance results in a minor change to the plot of the book that improves it slightly. In this parallel world, Jane Eyre has a different ending than in our world: Jane moves to India with her cousin, St. John Rivers, to become a missionary.

While recovering in the hospital, Thursday encounters her future self, who tells her, "Take the LiteraTec job in Swindon!" She therefore requests the apparently unexciting transfer to the office in her old home town. Back at home, she catches up with her mother Wednesday, her Uncle Mycroft (the name of Sherlock Holmes' older, smarter brother), and her Aunt Polly. Mycroft is an inventor of literary technology. He has created bookworms that eat the words of books, translating carbon-paper (you write something in English, and the copy is in any other language you wish, provided that you press hard enough), and most importantly, the Prose Portal. This device allows people to step into the pages of any work of literature. Next also renews an acquaintance with her former fiancé Landen Parke-Laine (a reference to the British version of the board game Monopoly).

Next learns that Hades has kidnapped Mycroft, Polly, and the Prose Portal in order to blackmail the literary world by changing their favorite novels. Any change in the original manuscript of a novel results in all copies of that novel being changed. In order to demonstrate the power of the Portal, Hades removes Mr. Quaverley, a minor character from the original manuscript of Dickens' Martin Chuzzlewit; when his demands are not met, he kills him -- altering the text of every copy of the novel. (In reality, there was never any such character in Martin Chuzzlewit.)

Next and a loathsome Goliath Corporation operative named Jack Schitt trace Hades to the Socialist Republic of Wales. They rescue Mycroft and the Prose Portal, but find that Polly has disappeared, and Hades has gone into the original text of Jane Eyre. Next decides to pursue Hades into the text, and after much trouble, she succeeds in catching him and finishing him off. In the process however Hades sets fire to Thornfield Hall, Rochester's manor, resulting in its destruction, the death of Rochester's first wife, Bertha, and Rochester being grievously injured. In the aftermath Rochester and Jane get married; accidentally, Next has changed the ending of the book.

Returning to her own world, Next uses the Prose Portal to release her Aunt Polly from a Wordsworth poem and to imprison Jack Schitt in the text of Poe's "The Raven". Next and Parke-Laine are reconciled and get married.
At the wedding, Thursday's father turns up. He is a renegade agent from SpecOps-12, the ChronoGuard (see Chronology protection conjecture). He temporarily stops time in order to dispense some fatherly advice to his daughter. The novel ends with Next facing an uncertain future at work: public reaction to the "new" ending for Jane Eyre is positive. The series continues with Lost in a Good Book.

*I literally lifted this off of Wikipedia!! :)

Sing Your Life

I love this video, one of my all-time favorites :)

Accessories

The Kelly Bag





The Birkin Bag



Wishful thinking though, for last I heard the Kelly bag costs $80,000 and there's a waiting list for it.

The Window Show

Come one, come all!!! Show support for your local up-and-coming artists!! Free admission. Booze. Posers. 'Nuff said.

Down the toilet, and coming out clean on the other side?

July. I've decided, after thinking long and hard, everything changes in July. It took me a long time to realize that things haven't worked out in years, despite of the fact that things have been pounded into my head over and over again for a long while. I guess I just chose to ignore the fact that my relationship with Jason has been slowly deteriorating by pretending that nothing was wrong in the first place. We'd go about our lives, things would happen to make one of us explode, have our little talks (or Jay would, I'd just sit there and sulk and eventually burst into tears), I'd sulk some more for a few days and we'd slowly get back into our mindless, boring routines. Until the same thing happens again. And the cycle continues.

I am aware that I am a selfish human being. Sometimes I put my own needs before the needs of the relationship. I didn't want to move out of boring old Milwaukee in the first place, even though I am glad that we did. Because I was comfortable staying put. I hated the fact that Jay was in school, and I had to bear the financial burdens of him being in school, as well as the regular bills that needed to be paid. I didn't work for six months after we moved to Chicago while I get my paperwork straightened out (I am not a citizen of the US, but have since obtained my residency card), and Jay never failed to remind me of the fact that he busted his ass working two jobs in the mean time. Well, I have paid for that and then some, and I hope he never brings it up again. Well, now I have a decent job and I still take care of 80% of the household finances while Jay does I don't know what, wait and work for his big break, I guess. I am not a saint, and I don't like sounding like a bleeding heart but while I understand that these things take time, I, in my fit of selfishness, wish that things were somehow, just different. I wish that Jay has a good job that would afford us to live comfortably. In the end, I'm just a girl who wants to be taken care of. I guess I'm selfish that way.

I hate the fact that I can never effectively communicate my feelings. I'm the type of person who clams up in the face of emotional adversity. Although I think I'm trying. Jay would probably say that I'm not trying hard enough. After 8 years...
You would think I'd get the hang of it.

We make fun of this manager at work, who walks around like he has a song playing in his head 24/7. You know, he has this kind of glazed look on his face. I think I'm the same way. I've been aware of this for a while but I've never wanted to face it. I go through life in a sort of daze, just fantasizing about things that will never be. Instead of working at it, I wish it. Who am I kidding, life isn't like an Enid Blyton book. There are no fairies living in old trees, and no Land of Ice Cream Cakes. I have a great work ethic, and while I don't love what I do, I do it to the best of my abilities and hope like hell that I get noticed. I just wish that life gets easier the more you live it. There I go again, wishing instead of working.

I love Jay to death, and while sometimes I don't feel it, I really do. Although he is difficult to live with. He'd say I'm the one who's difficult to live with. I don't doubt it, I can be a total bitch sometimes. I just wonder how and why he tolerates it. I don't think that he will a lot longer, the signs are there. One day I will wake up and find out he's gone. In a sense, he's almost gone already, I think.

We're probably at that stage where we need counseling, but we can't afford it. I don't think Jay believes in counseling, he's old school that way. Me? I don't know. I'd do anything to save this, and for a while, after we have our "talks" I swear I'd do better but I fall back into the same routine. Over and over again. I don't know why.

So, July it is. The time when things that have been postponed and put on the backburner are taken care of, no bullshit. Even now I'm dragging my feet about the whole thing. I have a list of things that I need to do and while I will probably feel differently tomorrow I am determined to change. For myself. I'm just sick of going through life without a plan, and if I don't do something about it, I will lose a relationship.

I certainly do have issues.

PS. Rambling aside, this is just me feeling sorry for myself. I'm selfish. Deal with it.

Still Waiting For The Punchline

I want to find the water
that will wash this whole damned slate clean
break down
break up
we sleep in what we create
right now I'm living so much hate
right here my sins have all been paid
to you
your friends
and for your sake
I feel dirty and so depraved
my knees have bled to hold you here
but now I've lost the taste
for lies force fed as time well spent
and if another angel says just grin and bear it
I might be forced to smash his head against the wall
and never sin again
against myself or trust in anyone
write me off for suffering
it's a joke
I give up

Taxes And Things

Today I did my taxes. I found out to my relief that Jay and I don't owe anything this year. We're getting some money back, not much, but at least we're not owing. The money is going straight into a joint savings account we're opening. Strange to think that we don't have a joint account after seven years of being together. But, better late than never, right?

I downloaded Darby Di Natale's songs into my iPod today..my favorite song of hers right now is Demons In My Head, I listen to it over and over...She is such a talented musician and writer...I admire her so much. It must be so amazing to be part of a family that is brimming with musical talent. Jason's a great musician also, and Josh...well, just amazing. And she's such a beautiful soul as well...I'm just amazed that she's not signed to any label yet. Anyway, I hope she and Jason will flourish in LA.

Nice day out today, with a high of 62, Jason always jokes about how I'm always commenting on the weather like a weatherperson on tv. I can't help it, I hate the cold weather and I'm cold all the time anyway and I can't wait for summer to be here already. I'm not a cold weather person. The hotter the weather, the more I enjoy it. The less clothes I put on :)

Itinerary for today...taxes..check. Dinner..it's always a struggle to decide on where to eat for Jay and I, because none of us can make up our minds. We're probably the most indecisive people you'd ever care to meet, Jason's the worst. But we finally decided on Joy Yee's Noodles on Halstead. We've been there once before, and it has got the BIGGEST menu you'll ever see..there were like four pages of drinks alone, from juices to smoothies to ice cream drinks...heaven. And like ten pages of dishes. I had the best mussel dish ever, Jason had beef and broccoli, and we split a huge spicy string bean dish..heaven, just like mum used to make. The mussels I had were fat and juicy and you can't beat the price! $9.95 for a plate of dozen huge mussels...only in Asian restaurants, dude...

My Kinda Town

Summer is just around the corner, and I can't wait to rediscover this beautiful city of mine...I've lived here for 5 years, and I still haven't gone up to the top of the Sears Tower, or the John Hancock Building, for that matter. And I work there.


On the brightest day, you can see for miles from atop the building, all the way across the lake to Michigan. Why would I want to look at Michigan..hahaha..just kidding.

One of my favorite spots in the city is The Crown Fountain in Millenium Park, designed by Jaume Plensa... a sculpture which is basically two giant fountains with video images of Chicago citizens, flanking a shallow reflecting pool.. I love to sit on a bench nearby and watch kids running around in the water, just being kids. Great place to be on a hot summer day.




Hahaha...this is the best part, when every 15 minutes the video images would open their mouths and water would spout out...kids would go wild....


I love this photo of the Art Institute lion...Go Bears!!! (Not Go Lions!). That reminds me...I have to go to the Art Institute more often this summer..I miss lurking around the Miniature Rooms...how do they build all that teeny tiny furniture...That sets my imagination off..of tiny people living in those scaled-down spaces, only coming out at night when the place is deserted..hahaha I'm crazy...




The picture above is of an English Drawing Room at The Thorne Rooms (aka miniature rooms), the scale is 1 inch = 1 foot...I am not kidding...amazing workmanship, down to the smallest details..

I live in a neighborhood called Pilsen...a mostly Mexican neighborhood, but it's being crowded out by the encroaching gentrification..condos galore, springing up like wild mushrooms after the rain. It's a nice enough neighborhood, cheap rent, good restaurants, a first-class Mexican Art Museum is located here, art galleries galore, and thrift stores....we could do without the gangs though. It's cheap enough that students and struggling artists could afford to live here, but for how much longer...

A view from the corner of 18th Street and Blue Island..check out the giant that is the Sears Tower. I catch the bus here to get downtown..and from there I take the train everywhere in the city, it just costs $2.00. Or $20 for a weekly pass. No driving in this city, eh...too expensive. The CTA is the way to go.

This is a photo of an Orange Line train going towards downtown Chicago...that's the Sears Tower on the right and the slightly shorter building on the left is the John Hancock Tower (where I work).

A shot of my street...Mexican restaurants, Mexican grocery stores, the odd cafe, art galleries, corner stores, florist, just perfect. Except for the old drunks lurking outside at all hours of the day leering at young girls, gangbangers and hookers. Cop cars cruise this street every night...


This is a park close to Navy Pier, really beautiful in the summertime. Someone said that Oprah lives in that curvy building (you can't mention Chicago without mentioning Oprah... uh huh). But she doesn't live there.

But of course, there's more to Chicago than Oprah. There's this documentary on PBS that I really love where the host goes on a tour of Chicago by boat and describes the history and stories of the most amazing architectural elements of this amazing town. Chicago has it all, the best restaurants, world-class museums, beautiful parks, THE LAKEFRONT, thriving nightlife, those great water towers that are now abandoned but still look beautiful against the skyline, diverse people, everything you'd want in a city. I don't think I'd want to live anywhere else...Good ol' Chicago.




Next time I'll post this amazing shot of the skyline at night seen from the lake...just takes your breath away...But for now, I bid you adieu...


PS: Photos by JABrooks.

if by Rudyard Kipling

I came across this poem again recently, stuck to the back of one of my many notebooks.

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

The Perfect Pair of Jeans

I went jeans shopping recently. The last time I did that was..ages ago...a few months ago, maybe? Now, the thing with me and jeans, I never wear anything except Levi's jeans. And there's a huge Levi's store on the Mag Mile which I frequent..quite frequently. I love the way they fit, and they have short-length jeans for short people like myself...and I can definitely pay $40 for a pair. I love dark, dark blue jeans. I can't stand really light blue ones..somehow they look white trash to me. And forget the slim fit shit, they make me look shorter that I already am. Straight leg is the way to go. So, basically, when i go jean shopping, I normally look for a dark blue, straight leg, stretchy pair of Levi's in a size 3.

I used to be able to fit into a size 0..yeeears ago, before I met Jay. Gosh, I can't even imagine that now...a size zero. What did I weigh in those days...like 98 lbs? Jay used to say that I was too skinny for his taste, and he likes me better now that I have some junk in the trunk...hahaha not too much though, just enough. I'm now about 119 lbs, which is supposedly perfect for my 5' 0" height. I don't really care about my weight, I have never been overweight and I don't really work out or go on diets, which I am thankful for...imagine worrying about watching what you put in your mouth all the time. All I need is to lose a bit around the middle, and have a flatter stomach. Even then I can't really be arsed about it.

Sooo, going back to the jeans....Levi's. Love them. Didn't think I'd ever buy other brands ever. I am so boring. But I was at Filene's Basement a while ago and saw these really cute pair of jeans, and I grabbed one in a size 25. Hahaha who am I kidding, I haven't been able to fit into a size 25 in aaaages. That's like what, a size 1? So I tried on a size 26. Couldn't even pull them past my hips. By this time I was laughing, because my deluded ass thought that I could fit into a 26. So now I know I'm a size 27. Fair enough. It's only jeans.

I'm liking these jeans by this time, right? They're Lucky Brand jeans, midrise, with a slight bootleg, a bit on the skinny side, but not too skinny. They're called Lola Boot (um..hello...good sign, seeing as it's my nom de plume...how weird is that? But pure coincidence, I'm sure..). Nice wash on it, not too light, fits perfectly on the crotch, and I like that fact that they're not too lowrise that your butt cleavage makes an appearance every time you sit down or bend over. It's a bit on the long side, but once I flip the cuffs they look pretty good. In a punk-rock kinda way. And can I just say my butt looks good in them?

And so, I got this beautiful, perfect pair of jeans. The original price tag said they were like $108 (I would have put them back down right then and there) but, being that I was at Filene's Basement I ended up paying $39.99 plus tax. What a bargain!!! damn that place...it's like crack. Filene's Basement, I love you. Where else in Chicago can you get designer stuff at bargain prices? Well, TJ Maxx maybe, or that other place whose name escapes me right now, but they can't compare. I don't place a lot of importance on material things, but once in a while, I get so happy when I go shopping. Especially when I find the perfect pair of jeans.

One Good Song

"My Life In The Knife Trade"

how many times have i noticed that our eyes hardly ever meet
from your judgment seat i can feel the anger for my very being
fill me in on when you became such a big part of my life
that i should bother with all your lies designed to bring me down
wrong again don't depend on any reaction again
i remember the icy walls that shot up from no where
and i can see every lie that you ever told yourself
you bleed me dry and i don't ask why but i'm left with the dust
judas kiss i dismiss thank you all for this i am unjudged i am
wait again i'm not through with the screaming
i contend that you've got nothing better to do
trade my life for a barrel of gold find someone else before i get too old
if i live my life for aesthetic gain will you repay me with all your shame
i can see every light inside your brain
go on every time that i walk by for noise and whispers
your comfort in my suffering is no longer disturbing
i'm lost beyond your petty stopwatch in life's real time lifes real
wait again im not through with the screaming
and i contend that you've got nothing better to do
trade my life for a barrel of gold find someone else before i get to old
if i live my life for aesthetic gain will you repay me with all your shame
don't get up i was slowly leaving the room when the door of your judgment swings back around again
maybe i'll stop to watch your act and i'll go on my way
i've seen quite enough of too many childish games
i'm ashamed of every moment that i ever gave them the time of day
all the worst of enemies are somehow always friends that used to be



On another note...my current favorite show is 24, while Heroes is on hiatus..I guess I am a bit slow when it comes to watching the latest big shows on the telly, I'd never followed Friends, or Will and Grace, or any of the other shows other people love, not even Seinfeld..strangely I never miss Senifeld now its on syndication, or 24. Now I try to catch 24, and Alias every Sunday night..strange, eh. The only channel I watch regularly is PBS.. entertaining and informative at the same time.

I hate my job..

Sooo....

I work for a multi-million dollar restaurant which boasted the highest profit margins in the company last year, and my boss gets to go to Europe for two weeks as a reward. Meanwhile, I haven't had a raise in 3 years.

My Life The Soundtrack (On Shuffle) - Hardcore/Post-Hardcore Version

Opening Credits: Busy Doing Nothing - Shelter

Waking Up: This Season - Mean Season

Average Day: Rebirth of Tragedy - Vision of Disorder

First Date: Colour Blind Jam - 7 Seconds

Falling In Love: By The River _ Vision of Disorder

Unrequited Love: Voyage into Infinity - Bad Brains

Love Scene: Dance of Days - Embrace

Sex Scene: Bottled Violence - Minor Threat (eekk!!)

Drunk: 20 Eyes - The Misits

Fight Scene (verbal): All Hell Breaks Loose - The Misfits (not making this up!)

Fight Scene (physical): Last Minute Pointer _ Refused

Breaking Up: Man Enough To Care - 7 Seconds

Getting Back Together: Vanishing Point - Underdog

Secret Love: Soundtrack For Violence - CiV

Life's Okay: Gorilla Biscuits - Gorilla Biscuits

Grieving: Filter The Infection - Statue

Chase Scene: Should Have Known - Ignite

Revelation: Without Fear - Underdog

Mental Breakdown: Reflecting Seductions - Statue

Driving: Refused Party Program - Refused

Reunion: Expect to Change - 7 Seconds

Learning A Lesson: Hard to Forget - Slugfest

Deep Thought: Don't Got To Prove It - CiV

Flashback (good): Ways To Destroy One's Ambition - Vision of Disorder

Flashback (bad): Let Down - Chain of Strength

Flashback (weird): The Meek - Bad Brains

Partying: Violent World - The Misfits

Happy Dance: Forencis Scene - Fugazi

Regretting: Stand Up - Minor Threat

Long Night Alone: Seeing Red - Minor Threat ( hahaha)

Death Scene: Up In You - Vision of Disorder

Closing Credits: Mass Movement - Underdog

boysetsfire's Last Tour Ever

The influential post-hardcore band finally announced the long-awaited dates for their last tour ever, four or five dates in Europe, and possibly one date in Philly, in May. I personally am bummed by this news, although they announced their "retirement" late last year at a show in Germany. It just seems so...final now. I've only seen them live once, at The Beat Kitchen in Chicago last year, and they fucking rocked the joint!! I speak on behalf of many of their fans, I'm sure, of the fact that their bigger-than-life personalities and energetic live performances will be greatly missed.

Photo courtesy of my friend Anthony

My Life The Soundtrack On Shuffle (80's Version)

Opening Credits: Under Pressure - Queen

Waking Up: Every Breath You Take - The Police

Average Day: Another One Bites The Dust - Queen

First Date: Shout - Tears For Fears

Falling In Love: Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic - The Police

Unrequited Love: Head Over Heels - Tears For Fears

Love Scene: Everlasting Love - Howard Jones (How appropriate!)

Sex Scene: Maneater -Hall & Oates (phwooarrrrr..hahahah)

Drunk: Kids In America - Kim Wilde

Fight Scene (verbal): Half A Person - The Smiths

Fight Scene (physical): Against All Odds - Phil Collins

Breaking Up: My Best Friend's Girl - The Cars (uh-oh)

Getting Back Together: Lay Your Hands on Me - The Thompson Twins

Secret Love: A Groovy Kind of Love - Phil Collins

Life's Okay: Blue Monday - New Order

Grieving: True Colors - Cyndi Lauper

Chase Scene: We Will Rock You - Queen

Revelation: King of Pain - The Police

Mental Breakdown: Hold Me Now - The Thompson Twins

Driving: Just What I Needed - The Cars (yeah!)

Reunion: You've Got The Look - Prince & Sheena Easton

Learning A Lesson: Round & Round - New Order

Deep Thought: Tide Is High - Blondie

Flashback (good): Baby Be Mine - Michael Jackson

Flashback (bad): Every Breath You Take - The Police

Flashback (weird): Once In A Lifetime - Talking Heads

Partying: Hit Me With Your Best Shot - Pat Benatar

Happy Dance: Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Tears For Fears

Regretting: Girls on Film - Duran Duran

Long Night Alone: Things Can Only Get Better - Howard Jones

Death Scene: A Little Respect - Erasure

Closing Credits: New Moon On Monday - Duran Duran