Still Waiting For The Punchline

I want to find the water
that will wash this whole damned slate clean
break down
break up
we sleep in what we create
right now I'm living so much hate
right here my sins have all been paid
to you
your friends
and for your sake
I feel dirty and so depraved
my knees have bled to hold you here
but now I've lost the taste
for lies force fed as time well spent
and if another angel says just grin and bear it
I might be forced to smash his head against the wall
and never sin again
against myself or trust in anyone
write me off for suffering
it's a joke
I give up